I remember my first hangover vividly.
It was at Stu North’s house at the Guys n Dolls after party in 5th form. My sister and I drank a cask of Cook’s Chasseur between us and became this magical thing called "drunk".
We probably had deliberated between Velluto Rosso, Marque Vue, Bernadino, Miami Wine Coolers and Chardon, but had gone for the Cook’s for value for money and the cool factor. We wore stone-washed dungarees after all.
Oh yeah.
I remember thinking that "drunk" was choice and why hadn’t I thought of it before. I resolved to do it much more often….and then came the next day.
I awoke early, as I do when hungover, and the vomiting commenced. The stomach wringing continued until I went to sleep again at about 11pm that night. My mother usefully kept saying things to me like; "It's not worth it is it Penny? Seriously, it’s not worth it….is it….Penny…is it?" which I found just wonderful and encouraged with all manner of friendly smiles and loving hand gestures.
My 20’s followed with much vomit and maternal frowns. I have puked on a train platform at Kensal Green, on a grave at Pere Lachaise Cemetery in Paris, in my mouth in a blackcab and in toilets all over the world. I once fell asleep on the floor next to a toilet in Edinburgh after an all-nighter when I met Vince Vaughan. I just sheepishly said hello, there was no Movie star pash or cocaine snorting off his man bits or anything, but if Mum had been there the next day I would have said; "Hell yes Mum, it was totally worth it." And anyway the tiles were cool and soothing.
I’ve never woken up after a bender, however and found a tiger, a baby and a chicken in my room. And I’ve never lost a bride after a hen’s night either. But if you watch The Hangover available this month On Demand, you can see such shenanigans. And it’s abso-freakin-lutely hilarious.
And if my Mum asked Bradley Cooper if it was all worth it, I reckon he’d say "Yes Mrs Ashton…it totally was."