There are some people, who when they die, the event is so momentous that we know exactly where we were when we heard.
Every generation has their martyrs, fallen angels and drug rooted celebrities to remember fondly, but there are only a few who’s kicking it truly shocks the hell out of you.
In my life there have only been two.
Sure I was alive when Elvis shuffled off to the big deep fried peanut butter kiosk in the sky, but I was only three. I was therefore more concerned with not pooing myself, than with the big fat barbiturate freak who died pooing.
My first massive death moment was Diana in 1998. I was in a room in my friend’s apartment in Moscow when she came running in screeching that Lady Di and Dodi were jam and my brain kinda shut down. Some people are too famous to be mortal I thought, but tell that to the paparazzi and the drunken driver. (Or possibly MI5, the CIA, the FBI, the KGB and the Scientologists if you listen to Al Fayed.) I was never a big fan of Diana, but we all felt for the kiddies. And on seeing what William had grown into when I wasn’t looking, I genuinely wanted to feel him good and hard.
The next of course was Michael Jackson. I found out as I think we generally all will from now on, on Facebook. My friend who works at E! TV’s status update read “MJ’s dead, you read it here first.” I was at my desk in Mt Albert and squealed like he would have when grabbing his bits.
In my life I have jazz danced to Thriller, The Way you Make me Feel and Bad. I looked ridiculous. A nice private school girl slicking her hair with gel and wearing a big belt means she’s rooool bad fo shizzle. Oh yeah watch out, I might not do my homework tonight and if I’m rooly badass I’ll tell my momma to empty the dishwasher ho self.
BUT MJ’s career was my life from the moment I can remember. Until he died I didn’t realise how many of those songs he wrote and that he truly was an amazing talent. Sure I wish he’d learned a few different dance moves, got some friends his own age who weren’t monkeys and wasn’t a mental, but his life was worth celebrating purely if Beat It was the only song he ever wrote. I mean what other man has gifted the world a million masturbation jokes.