When I used to sing along with the theme tune of rainbow as a small girl; "Paint the whole world with a rainbow… do do do do do do do do do…." I didn’t realise that my bobbing in time with Geoffrey, the gayest man alive, would become a life long pastime.
I'm not sure when I first realised I was a FagHag but I imagine it was sometime during university. My penchant for musicals, sparkles and Magnum PI meant that I was attracted to the genus homo-eroticus like a moth to a pink pina colada flavoured flame.
Ever since then I can enter a room and spot the devotees of GaGa, Babs and Bette at two hundred minces and can be assured of an hilarious evening discussing Project Runway and America's Next Top Model every time.
I don’t think the word "Darling!!" can ever be used enough, I believe pink paisley and purple plaid are a winning combination and I really truly madly deeply love Gok. No that wasn't a typo, Gok the fashion guru from How to Look Good Naked, is who I meant, stop being dirty.
I would admit to be somewhat challenged by attending Love Muscle at the Brixton Academy in London. It involved naked boys onstage, male audience volunteers and enormous dildos. I’ll leave it there but suffice to say I’ll never look at a marrow again in the same way.
But there is something wildly comforting and fun about spending time with a man who has no interest in any part of me except my tongue, and only for what it can say. A man who generally dresses well, is witty, funny, outrageous and loyal and can make me laugh and laugh and laugh. Obviously there are boring gay men too, but I find that their ratio to fabulous is way lower than in the straight world.
I imagine having Bruno as a friend for example, would make your life about as entertaining as it was possible to be without imploding. Thankfully my friends don't engage in Dildo exercycling when I come over and lay off the spandex generally, but flamboyancy is flamtastic I say, so viva las homos and let’s toast with a Daiquiri to Bruno’s brotherhood, who make my life much more exciting and make Kylie …..possible.
PS Anyone wanting a civil union, I’m yer gal!